>You tense when Karkat comes close and makes contact, and immediately want to curse. God, how high strung /were/ you – that even his touch was making you jump? It made you want to roll your eyes so hard they fell out of your skull.
> Really if that happened, maybe you’ve be less of a “winner” for this lady’s game and that seemed preferable at the moment.
>You barely have time to smile at K before you find yourself being led across the room and closer to the hulking stranger. Your eyes dart – trying to take in several different details at once. It was your way of trying to busy your mind, but the other’s intimidating façade didn’t bring your heart rate down.
>Roll your eyes and take a deep breath to center yourself, Vantas. You’re being introduced!
“It’s a pleasure. Sorry about all of. This.”
>You’re not really sure you were in a position to apologize about the situation, but the words are falling ungracefully out of your mouth anyway now that you’re front and center between the room’s other occupants. You reach your hand out for a handshake and try to ignore the fact that K is possibly describing someone out of your own nightmares. Fucking clowns.
>You’re following all of this introduction stuff until—
>Wait a damn minute.
“Wait get me somewhere? I’m leaving?
“K, I have two jobs? I can’t just uproot and leave where would I even be-
“I didn’t bring anything. I’m just going to get my ass out of town? I’ve hardly ever even been out of town— All because some fishwretch sent me a few messages on a website?“
>You turn to look Karkat in the eye, before glancing back towards Riddles as if maybe he would throw another, less drastic idea on the table. In fact, your eyes betray you and practically beg for a different sort of input. You clench your hand to hide trembling fingers.
> You accept his hand in a gentle handshake. You’re purposefully softening your motions to lessen your new very best friends fear of your intimidating stance, hoping that you don’t have to sense the crazy amount of intimidation radiating from this poor kid who seems to have already been pushed pretty close to panic by the prospect of being kidnapped. He didn’t need more of that.
> Looking up at Pink when he mentioned moving Three-horn over here, you gouge the kids reaction as he looks at you. Hm. Yeah, that’s probably not going to work. You wouldn’t know how to get his physical form into the dream bubbles anyway. Does he even have a dream-self?
"Now just hold on a minute, Flipper. This lil’ mother fucker obviously got shit to do, an’ I don’t even know if i can bring an alive body into the realm of the dead unless he’s sleepin’. So, here’s a better idea."
> You move to kneel down to get to a height that’s somewhat closer to theirs, gesturing.
"If we gonna all be for real, this body of mine was put here for a lil’ Blue someone who’s since been out of my life. I ain’t got that much use for it now except hangin’ out with kids like you. No big deal. Instead of uprootin’ the kid, why don’t I just let y’all borrow this body for a few days?"
> You vaguely mention your ex-moirail, knowing neither of them will know what the fuck you’re talking about. You wait for a second before going on to explain your plan.
"I could be Triceratops’s body guard for a bit until we’re sure the danger has passed. While he sleeps, he can come join me in my bubble, if he has a dream self that’s active. So long as you don’t mind me followin’ you to work, lil’ man? I mean, the other option is that I could sit down with the Empress and sweet talk her out of doin’ anythin’ drastic. We pretty chill, me an’ her."
> Despite the fact that you actually ate her at one point but haha hey you know to never do that again.
"Wh— You’re. You’re pretty chill??? You’re ‘pretty chill’ with this person who is threatening to— Rgghgh no. No. Know what?? Whatever. Now is NOT the time to be bringing your moral hygiene into question. I apologize for that colossal waste of time.
"It. It may be longer than a couple of days. I don’t know. Either way, uhm."
>You stand at Sollux’s side and take a step back, arms crossed, rubbing from your shoulder to your elbow nervously.
"Since Sollux is here, I… Guess it’s your decision, man. You’re the one who’s in danger. Even if it is my fault. I’m so sorry. I didn’t think she’d pay any attention— I shouldn’t have egged her on—"
—> Sollux: Make damn sure you never say, “my day can’t get any worse” ever again.
> You lean your head back and close your eyes, and you pray the nonchalance you want to feel takes hold. “It’s just a fucking internet troll.” “K’s losing his shit, that’s just what K does sometimes. (And there’s nothing wrong with that.)” “Who in their right mind would ever scoop up a miserable reject like your, come on now.” Really, you knew better. You knew things were just getting blown out of proportion because that’s the sort of night this was going to be.
And yet, something about the urgency of it all has dug its way under your skin. HER saccharine sweet normalcy and the fact that you could clearly picture a Stepford Smile in everything she typed.
—> Riddles: Welp.
> You suppose unless this kid suddenly is okay with you touching his head, you’re not going to be able to calm him down by voodooing his panic. But he doesn’t really seem in the mood for touching right now.
>You stare at him through closed eyes as you usually do, nodding as you listen to his explanations for calling you here. Honestly, you weren’t sure what you could do in this particular situation, but you also didn’t know the whole story. You didn’t know the target, his limitations, or even his whereabouts. You didn’t know if he had access to the dream bubbles in his physical form or not. As far as you can tell, the most you could be for this kid is a body guard, but you would need to talk to him first. In order to do that, you need to know where he is. In order to do that, you need to ask Flipper, who is currently freaking the fuck out and not giving you any real help.
> Always a frightful one, your little fish. You’re starting to think if you some sort of security business, you would end up having to thank Sugary for giving you so many customers. You decide to keep that joke to yourself.
> You decide it was time to get some actual information out of his kid, since she might have already picked this friend up, and you need a location asap. You interrupt his babbling.
"Alright alright alright, shut up. Now, do you know where he is right now? I cain’t rightfully do nothin’ without someone to protect you know. "
> Just as you say that, you hear the door open. You flick up your ears and stand politely, realizing that your new company just might be who you’re trying to protect. You give him a warm smile as he speaks, and then decide to calmly wait for your little fish to introduce you two.
>Whip your head around.
"Oh God!! Sollux!! You’re okay!!"
>You rush over to him and put your hands on his shoulders, as if maintaining physical contact with him would assure the Empress didn’t come and snatch him right out from under your fingers that very second.
>You continue in this hypothesis as you slide your hand down his arm and take his wrist in your delicate grasp, pulling him into the roomier part of your humbly ostentatious lodgings, past the bed and over to Riddles.’
"W-w-well, This— uhm— Sollux, this is Riddles. That uh. That really is his name. I swear. Uh,"
>You motion vaguely to Riddles and move to stand awkwardly behind Sollux, positioning him awkwardly between Riddles and yourself, allowing them to shake hands or whatever (as well as another hypothetical guard against the claws of Condy that is really only serving as a way to convince yourself you still have any control in the situation/that he’s any safer this way).
"He’s a clown. And a highblood. He can control nightmares and other stuff. He calms me down sometimes.
"And uh— uh, Riddles, this is Sollux Vantas. Uhm. We’ve been friends on the internet since elementary school and I serendipitously happened to move to his home city a few years ago.
"Now that we’re all the very best of friends, why don’t we go ahead and get him somewhere Condy can’t touch him, okay???"
>You swallow. You know this is your fault for drawing attention to him. Oh, God. You have to make sure it doesn’t get bad. Somehow. Just get him somewhere she can’t touch him until she finds someone else to fawn over and forgets him.
[08:02] CG: SHE’S GONNA FU—CKING BREAK HIS HORNS OFF AND PUT HIM IN FRILLY LINGERIE
buddy she didn’t even MENTION lingerie dont project ur fantasies onto her))
((im gonna pEE))
((and RedSol still finds this painfully attractive))
((a broken man. pray for him))
> You don’t know why that song has been stuck in your head all day but here we go.
> You got a panicked message from a sad friend of yours and, just like old times, was asked for assistance. You’re not exactly sure what you can do in this particular situation, but that doesn’t mean that you’ll try as hard as you can.
> You sneak yourself into his room along the shadows as always, coming up alongside the child. He was still panicking and still seemed alone in the room, meaning the target was still unguarded. If you know anything about Pinkat, it was that he would never leave his friends behind.
> Cause his friends don’t dance and if they don’t dance well they— god fucking damn it Riddles stop. You’re busy.
> You need to calm down Flipper in order to get any information about him, so you kneel next to the kid and place an arm around his shoulder.
"Alright, take it easy, I’m here. What did you need from me?"
—> Karkat: HYPERVENTILATE
> AHHH AHHH WHERE THE FUCK IS HE SOLLUX IS GONNA DIE AHHH AHHH AHHHHHHHH
> You take in a sharp, wheezing squeak of a breath as Riddles appears in your bedroom, sneaking up right behind you as per usual. You do not ever appreciate his sneak-attack method of approaching you but you especially do not at the moment. You squeeze you eyes shut in a wince as a substitute for screaming aloud.
>You whip around in your chair, accidentally releasing yourself from his arm in your wriggling panic and address him, eyes wide.
"I don’t know!! I just— I was scared, and— I didn’t know who else to call— You’re the only person I know who’s big and scary and can manipulate nightmares and dream bubbles and whatever or basically have any chance at all against— ohhh—"
>You stand up in your chair, ducking under his arm and scrambling past him to pace frantically around the room, one hand gripping your hair, the other worrying at your lip as you chew your nails fervently.
"He’s, like, a double-combo of her usual game!! She keeps talking about "fixing him"—- I don’t know how serious she is, but I don’t want to take any chances. H-he’s on his way over and—"
>Turn around to face him, arms outstretched.
"— and, and I don’t know, okay!!! I don’t know what happens after that!! You’re big and scary and have a sealed dream bubble and we’re just a bunch of snot-nosed wrigglers that don’t have any defense against her! I’m sorry I didn’t exactly have a well thought-out plan when I contacted you!!"